Meditation for virgins

Posted on March 28, 2011


I’ve been reading a lot about the importance and power of meditation recently.

And following recent lesson-to-learn number one when I turned up at DXB airport two weeks ago only to find I had booked my non-refundable ticket for the month previous and then yesterday, lesson-to-learn number two, when I lost my only car key, clearly I need to stop doing so many things at once, focus more on the present rather than later, tomorrow or next month and take more time out to recharge the batteries.

Enter meditation. And the more I read and research, I realise that once incorporated into your life, the benefits of meditation are far-fetched. Plus … much like being the other sort of virgin, once discovered, you really can’t get enough of it and you wonder how you managed without it!

So here’s Tori’s Meditation for virgin’s guide …

Meditation is a simple but life-transforming skill that can help you to relax, enhance understanding about yourself and develop your inherent potential.

  • Choose a conducive environment

Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed for fifteen minutes or longer. Sit down – either cross-legged on the floor or on a chair with both feet flat on the floor, relax and rest your hands on your lap. Try to maintain the natural curve of your back so no slouching forward or leaning backward.

  • Breathe slowly and deeply


Close your eyes and begin by taking a few slow and deep breaths — inhaling with your nose and exhaling from your mouth. Don’t force your breathing – just let it come naturally. The first few intakes of air are likely to be shallow but as you allow more air to fill your lungs each time, your breaths will gradually become deeper and fuller.

  • Be aware

When you are breathing deeply, you begin to feel calmer and more relaxed. Really try to focus your attention on your breathing. Be aware of each breath that you take in through your nose and mindful of each breath that you exhale with your mouth. Continue like this for as long as you like – if you find your attention straying away from your breaths, just gently bring it back. Don’t get disheartened if this keeps happening – many people take ages to master it. As you develop greater focus power, you will find it easier to concentrate.

  • Ending the session

When you are ready to end the session, open your eyes and stand up slowly. Stretch yourself and extend your increased awareness to your next activities.

Hey presto. A nice easy meditation conquered and all yours for the taking. It sounds so simple I know but quietening the monkey-mind ain’t easy, nor does it come instantly … far from it.  But that of course, just means the rewards are greater when you get the hang of it.

Top Tips

  • Meditation is easier for all if you are comfortable and feel good so if it’s too hot, keep on the air con and if too cold, have a blanket
  • Avoid having an empty or full stomach
  • Try to make your exhales as long, if not longer, than your inhales
  • Start trying to incorporate meditation into your daily schedule … when you wake up or before sleeping … either are easy to slot in to your routine … try to see it as an opportunity rather than a chore. Meditation should be cultivated as a life-long habit, like brushing your teeth or getting your nails done (!)
  • Give it time … you probably need five or ten minutes just to quieten the mind so if you try to meditate for less than 15 minutes, you probably won’t even get the chance to get into it
  • There is no point trying to meditate if your mind has been too engaged just before your session e.g. having an argument with your lover or other, getting wound up by your boss, watching a dramatic issue of DH or reading a thought-provoking book
  • If you find yourself falling asleep, try instead to keep your eyes half closed and unfocused – give it time and you’ll eventually find the balance between being too distracted and too relaxed
  • And if you can’t sit still for long enough, meditate as you run instead … been reading about this too … keep your eyes peeled for future posts ….

If we know the divine art of concentration, if we know the divine art of meditation, if we know the divine art of contemplation, easily and consciously we can unite the inner world and the outer world.’ Sri Chinmoy

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